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Jewish Latin Princess

Sobre Reglas

February 22, 2016 by Yael Leave a Comment

sin-reglas

B”H

Aunque tengo ganas enormes de escribir esto también en ingles, siento que lo tengo que decir en español primero.Como madre y como maestra estoy muy a menudo en el rol de poner y/o implementar reglas. No tengo ningún problema con ello, y no tengo miedo a que mis hijos o mis estudiantes expresen su objeción al respecto – mi objetivo no es que les gusten las reglas o caerles bien a mis hijos o estudiantes. Mi objetivo es crear un ambiente, ya sea en mi salon o en mi hogar, en el cual hayan distancias marcadas entre los que allí estamos para que podamos funcionar y convivir de una manera mas efectiva, segura y productiva. (Y que quede claro que un padre o maestro que logra implementar reglas balanceadas con mucho amor y respeto, ¡si se gana el amor y el respeto de sus hijos y estudiantes!)A medida que mis hijos crecen y estoy mas involucrada en temas de colegio, tanto como padre y mas recientemente como maestra, me he dado cuenta de que el mundo a cambiado dramáticamente en lo que respecta a el respeto por algo tan básico como las reglas. Y no estoy hablando de la resistencia normal que un adolescente pueda tener a ciertas reglas de un colegio, sino a un problema aun mayor – ¡que los padres no respetamos las reglas! Que nosotros los padres estamos inculcando en nuestros hijos el que algunas reglas son tontas o mejor dicho, digamoslo como lo dicen estos padres, “estúpidas”. Algunos padres me han confesado que prefieren no discutir las reglas de conducta y vestimenta que exige el colegio, con sus hijos, por que no quieren tener una batalla con ellos. Y cuando la administración tiene que regañar a sus hijos por alguna violación de la regla se ponen histéricos por que su hijo llega a casa ofendido y enfurecido y ahora tienen que lidear con el niño. Han dicho cosas como, “ay bueno, pero bueno, que no puede hacer usted una excepción!?”Señoras y señores, pero si es así como han creado ustedes un ambiente en el cual una conversación sobre reglas es una batalla – ignorando la conversación, no dandole importancia a la conversación, o mas, aún menospreciando la conversación!Y que conste, que no estoy ni siquiera hablando de reglas de práctica y observancia judía. ¡No! Estoy hablando de reglas tan básicas como el código de vestimenta de una institución! Si los padres no respetamos y exigimos que nuestros hijos también respeten las reglas de el colegio que escogimos para ellos, permitiéndole al colegio que las administre, ¿qué le estamos enseñando a nuestros hijos?Les voy a decir que…. que nuestras propias reglas en casa tampoco son importantes y tampoco se tienen que cumplir. Que la autoridad no es algo que hay que seguir y que en esta vida podemos nosotros mismos ser los jueces de cuando y como hacemos las cosas. Bonita lección de vida. Hoy es el código del colegio y mañana es el no saber que si me tome un trago de mas, ¡tengo que entregar las llaves del auto!Bueno yo no se si seré anticuada, pero que yo recuerde en todos los trabajos corporativos que tuve, siempre hubo un código de conducta y de vestimenta a seguir. Nuestros hijos van a encontrar reglas cuando salgan de nuestros colegios y cuando salgan de nuestros hogares y la vida se les va a hacer mucho, mucho mas dolorosa si no aprendieron a seguir reglas desde su infancia.Yo no estoy diciendo que tenemos que manejar nuestros hogares ni nuestros salones de clase como una dictadura. Al contrario, estoy diciendo que verdadero amor por nuestros hijos y estudiantes es tener la capacidad de ser figuras a seguir y admirar, no tratar de ser sus amigos. Verdadero amor es poder disciplinar y poner limites de forma amorosa y respetuosa, pero hacerlo, por Di-s, así le guste al chico o no. Verdadero amor es proveerle a nuestros hijos y estudiantes  un ambiente de seguridad en el cual se sientan que el mundo no es caótico y descontrolado – en el cual se sientan que hay unos parámetros de conducta a seguir por todos y cada uno de nosotros y que mis padres y mis maestros nunca van a comprometer esos parámetros, asegurándome que yo pueda crecer en un ambiente sano y seguro.Así que la próxima vez que vayan a un lago a darle de comer a los patos la jalá vieja y haya un signo que diga “No alimentar a los patos,” por favor, padres, así sea la regla mas “estúpida” del mundo, consideren que al no seguirla, están comunicándole a sus hijos que las reglas son algo relativo y que se puede romper a mi gusto, cuando yo quiera y como yo quiera. La próxima vez que su maestra mande a su hija a la oficina (con discreción, respeto y sin abochornarla frente a sus compañeras de clase) por que su uniforme esta fuera del código de vestimenta (ya sea la falda esta muy corta, o la camisa es del color equivocado), no protesten. Permitan que la escuela le exija al niño que se cambie el uniforme antes de regresar al salon de clases.Y si, esperemos que como todos respetamos las reglas, la próxima vez que Di-s libre haya que implementar una regla de aun mayor magnitud e impacto como que un estudiante toque a otro de manera inapropiada o le hable de manera inapropiada, tanto nuestros estudiantes como maestros se sientan cómodos y capaces de implementar y/o exigir la implementación de las reglas.P.D.
Por si acaso, esto aplica a todo el mundo, incluyendo a los padres que esperan que sus hijos en un futuro cumplan las reglas de tefilin, kashrut, velas de Shabbat….Pensemos bien, por favor. No le exijan esto a sus hijos, si ni siquiera les exigieron que siguieran todo tipo de otras reglas de conducta y comportamiento!
Opiniones por favor…. ¿Me pasé de anticuada o alguien esta conmigo?

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